IN DEFINITION...

I sit and think and I wonder.. Whats makes me tick,what makes me scream, what makes me laugh, what makes me cry. These are all parts of me - as I cry not knowing why or knowing why or blaming someone else. When I laugh that loud laugh of mine, with the grunts and funny sounds i make.. Im smiling thinking of it.

Another birthday just rolled by and in my never ending quest to define me/to refine me/to perfect me.. ok maybe not perfect. I suspect with every birthday, and every time January 1st rolls around, a new resolution, a new definition, rather an enhanced definition of me is in the works.

This plan, this new business plan of the business of me, this draft has to get better.. I wish/i hope/i plan to make it better...

MY SILENCE

In my solitude, my silence
As I search and pursue
For it that constantly eludes
As I explore this psyche
As I question this soul
In pursuit it that defines
It that’s the essence of me

In my solitude, my silence
My mind astray
An abundance of thoughts
My heart ajar
As I rifle through
In pursuit of it that proclaims
It that’s solely me

In my solitude, my silence
I try to define joy
Joy for everyday
I try to define success
Success in my own right
In my pursuit for the joy of me
This joy that goes beyond

In my solitude, my silence
I seek the depth of my spirituality
I seek the strength of my beliefs
I seek the secrets beneath me
I seek the pillar behind my resolve
In my pursuit for it that molds me
It that molds me to be me

In my solitude, my silence
I question the whats;
What truly makes me smile
What makes me laugh
What makes me sad
What even makes me cry
In my pursuit for it that evokes emotions
These emotions that proclaim me

In my solitude, my silence
I find solace, though no complete conquests
I find reasons for happiness
I find reasons for my humility, my chaos
As I continue my pursuits
For it that’s me

Good Day

I live for the smiles i have each day.

I live for the giggles i have each day

I live for the laughs i have each day

Ok forget this poem.. coz it just isnt flowing not today anyway.. I trully must be in space. I think thats where u just see things in the air.. things just floating; unknowns, questionables! When and If i ever get there physically (cant afford it though. Donations are welcome) I will try my best, to explain what it's like. I dont think scientist do a very good. Not everyone speaks science, so they need to get a regular person and a woman for that matter during PMS, to go out there and come back and tell us what its like.

Ok.. i was talking about smiles and giggles and laughs. I Love it, if i have a day full of smiles and laughs, i lay down to sleep with a smile and the next day looks bright for me coz i only imagine more smiles and laughs and ok... u know what i mean.

So for good friends, and all the special people who make me smile and laugh and oh.. i LoVe hugs too... and kisses (i can do that for hours). I just love good times coz they make life that much more bearable. They remind me of all the blessings i have in life and then i dont complain so much anymore.

I had a good day today and i need a hug and since i cant really get one i want right now.. i will gie myself one just to hold me off until tomorrow.. for that one i want...