FINDING FOREVER TODAY

I give thanks for my life's blessing, little or big. For all I have I wish to remember to be thankful and keep my complains to a minimal. I already know as i type this just how hard a feat this is since with every disappointment, every failure I go through I have to hurl out my fair share of "F bombs" not many as i an not very fond of the word. (goddamn it is my poison word of choice..) before i remember to be thankful for anything else. But truly as I wind down my day, I intend to take account, remember to be thankful and gracious, try to see where i erred and pray to do better tomorrow. Remember to let each days experience humble me.

Days are winding down and the New Year is inching in.. OK maybe not inching in. The new year is fast approaching and yes I do have my resolutions and my wants for a better new year. Now I realise that the 1st of January is just another day and I try each year to look at it just as another tomorrow, granted that somehow it is declared the beginning of another year.

As I reminisce the past year looking forward to this new blessing that I acknowledge many will not have the chance to experience, I think of my forever, whatever that means....

As the year comes to an end
A new one begins, I look back
I review my goals and set new ones
I try to resolve my looming issues
Repent my transgressions and pray
That hopefully this new year
will bear a better tomorrow
Hopefully this new year
I will evolve a better me
Hopefully this new year
I will pray more, adhere more
Listen more, act more and talk less
This new year, I will sow better seeds
This new year....

This forever that I yearn for. This continual bliss, success... This forever will be a certain one that no matter how and when tomorrow comes, I will be ready. In all fairness, I don't even know what being ready means, so whatever concept of ready that my brain, my heart and soul can master. That is the Forever I want, a simple way of appreciating the limitlessness of whats in my reach. I pray to find Forever Today, so that today I will love limitlessly, I will thank limitlessly, I will be so grateful for today. Truly, Forever is unknown to any of us so I pray to live today like it is my forever and not have to wait for the new year.

Think of this...

As morning breaks,
Comes the promise of a new day
With each challenge
With each triumph
The day urges on
And as the clock ticks away
And morning turns to afternoon
Afternoon to evening
Evening to night
Then what will you have to say of your day
Productive as it may be?

Mother

Pure of heart
An abundance of patience
An overflow of humility
Passion unmatched
The tread of grace
Unconditional Love, infinity

I sneeze, and with the hem of her dress she cleans me up
He coughs, she whips up a quick concoction
Every step, every misstep, every fall
She walks beside me, redirects and uplifts
There is no resting, no relenting

Pure of heart
An abundance of patience
An overflow of humility
Passion unmatched
The tread of grace
Unconditional love, infinity

She walks barefoot, gives me her shoes many sizes too big
For she trusts i can achieve whatever she has not
Life picks her up and drops her in pieces
But she is up and giving what she cannot fathom, even for her
And she carries on a smile at hand

Pure of heart
An abundance of patience
An overflow of humility
Passion unmatched
The tread of grace
Unconditional Love, infinity

She gives, no return, no expectation
Although the rules say give and take
She loves for better or worse, no expectations
Although the rules say love one another
And she treads with the air of a queen

Mother
Pure of heart
An Abundance of patience
An overflow of humility
Passion unmatched
The tread of Grace
Unconditional Love, Infinity

This phenomenal woman, the mother, the wife.

FOR THE MEN

Its friday and whats a girl to do? As i think and surf the net for a something new, something different to do.(we love to try out new things and i think men should just try it). As i'm reading i see something interesting... As women we all have a glossary list of what we want in a partner (after we get over the fact that the mills and boon, fabio type doesnt really exist). Anyway the article posed the question..."what do we have to offer/give to a partner." Now i have to admit that we dont always think of that. We are so busy wrapped up in what we want and what we expect and how much of queens we are and should be treated as such, that we forget that for every queen exist a king. And a king should in turn be treated as that. (now girls dont hate.. fair is fair. Oh and this doesnt mean that i wont trip once in a while) But it is high time we articulated what we bring to the table.

My simple way of my articulation and empahsis of that fact that i too can give; emotionally, financially and physically. To him, that man, that special person my fabio..... (this is an old piece but i think it fits my thoughts at this moment)

My heart craves for him
My soul longing, anticipating
Oh how I want him
I need him, I ache for him

I see him in my dreams
As he moves...
I see grace, I see
Majesty, I see my love,
My darling
Those strides, Oh God!
Such masculinity, such strength
Such a masterminded Piece of art!!!
How I want him
Such agility Synchronizing each and every
Muscle, extending to many,
Many Miles and miles of nerves

He captures my eyes and
I want him to fill me
Nourish my heart and soul
Complete me that I hunger no more
I beseech for him,
I pine for his touch
His that will shake my body
Scatter my thoughts in all directions

If I have him
If I get him
If I be so lucky
So utterly boundingly blessed
Dear God help me!
For forever it will be

I will touch so slowly
Every part, every nook
I will look, stare
I will satisfy every bone
Every muscle, every nerve
With my hands I will knead
With my fingers I will caress
Everyday all day
Every night, all night
I will christen him'.

I will christen him, with my lips
As I kiss, suck, lick
I will love him
I will contend him
He will hunger for none else
But me'
If I get him
If I have him
If I be so lucky
So utterly boundingly blessed!

PEACE

The war is ongoing.. why it started, no one knows; just that someone told them/us that we had a reason to go to war. This constant battle,over boundaries that no one really owns, over religions that some man declared and is trying to dictate. Who wins? Who actually decides when its won? What is the criteria for winning? What about the losers? Isnt is ironic to fight a homeless man with an assault rifle, when even a days meal is far out of reach for him? What chance does he stand to win... Is this already predetermined?

Despite the strong desire to stay neutral. I think and I am unable, i lean on both sides depending on the day or the happennings around me. Acknowledging that we all beleive in some supreme being. Why not then have the right, why not then of our own volition decide the intensity with which to beleive? Ok.. as impossible as it seems we all have one goal. We all look forward to peace, for our souls, for our lives, for our families, for the countries to which we pledge alliance. Even with our religions, we all look forward to a day when peace is tangible. Even in death, we all wish for peace....


What is peace,
With the world wrapped up in war
What is peace
With continents in a mayhem of hate
What is peace
With neighbors in constant combat
What is peace
With our hearts in unbridled turmoil

If only I could see
If only we could see
Beyond our turmoil
Maybe then
I could say hallo to my neighbor
Maybe then
I would travel the continents
With an openness of mind and heart
Maybe then
I would view the world with hope
Maybe then, just maybe then
I would reach out

If only I would open my eyes
I would see with an open heart
I would see that like me
My neighbor hurts
My country grieves
The continent wishes
The world hopes
That peace is tangible

Peace is our hearts
Engrossed in liking
Overwhelmed with receiving
Earthed by acceptance
Peace is love